Forgiveness, to give up, to grant, to give to marriage – is an act of mercy that question our worth and our hubris, our attachment and our sense of destiny. To ‘for give’, to ‘give up’ ones agony and resentment, it is about giving. And giving is a good thing, a good thing which hides in forgiveness.
Personally I am divided concerning forgiveness. On one side it is an act of divine mercy that speaks through you and on the other it also reflects your own insane sense of distorted self importance and worth.
I have question myself lately concerning this, because I have noticed that there is one trespassing in my past that I have problems to overcome. The fruits of the trespassing I cherish, but somehow I feel that perpetrator needs my forgiveness. This is my pride speaking, it is my Sun which is out of course and tells me that one mans opinion matters – I defend myself and say, his opinion had consequences – and today I ask myself, does it matter? The scenery is well known, the situation is dominated by a sensation of something ill in unjust ways have befallen you. All situations involving forgiveness originates from this simple scenery. If it is by acts or words it still remains essentially centered around this situation. Here we are actually not speaking of forgiveness: we are speaking of something else which Ifá speaks of in the odú Ìwòrì Ìretè, an odú speaking of the transformation towards securing ones personae.
Enití se rere ó seé fún ara rè
Eniti se ìkà, ó seé fún ara rè
Translated it means:
Anyone who does good, does it for herself
And anyone who does evil, does it to herself
So, if someone manifest a selfish plot involving you or their insanity needs you to make sense – is this something that needs forgiveness?
I believe that forgiveness is a reflex of love. Only love can give the substance to make forgiveness an option. And love is generosity. The Holy Al Quran reveals that within one of the 99 beautiful names of Allah we find Allah Al-Karim, the divine generosity revealed in Abd al-Karim, witness to the infinite generosity of Allah. The witness to God’s generosity will know that nothing which is give to us is ours. Ibn al Arabi understood this to be a consequence of Allah’s immeasurable bounty where we should receive his giving, but at the same time do not find fault in those who take this gift in ungrateful ways.
What Ifá says, what Al Quran says is simply to let it go. If you find yourself in a situation that calls for forgiveness that was not motivated by love and generosity - let it go and don’t make another person’s deed your own. As Òdí Méjì tells:
Mo dé rere
Mo rín rere
Èmi nìkan ni mo mò rìn àrìnkòórìn
I arrive well
I travel well
I am one who travels and usually finds fortune
What Ifá tells here is to focus on your own business, what you do, you do for yourself.
The moment you start to point fingers and invite culprits to your life you make their good or their evil a part of your journey – and here we touch an important factor, you destiny.
At times other people help us with their bad deeds as much as with their good deeds to manifest your destiny. Problem occurs when we give distorted value to these meaningful meetings. And I have come to believe that no meeting is without significance, the significance can be immensely small or devastating, but it still has its function. This is not the field of forgiveness; it is the field of understanding. Both being a reflection of divine mercy, but based in quite different meanings insofar as it is telling for your destiny.
If you approach life with the attitude that: your life is perfect, you always get a response on what you send out. Your immaturity calls for immaturity, your hatred calls for hatred – well, the world turns into a most humble mirror. And here, in this reflection, a true gift of the moon, you see your own absence. You see that those you appoint as adversaries in your life are there to judge your destiny, You appoint you ha-satan, or fiendish advocate and prosecutor. You endow in others this quality – and you resent them for what you gave them – and in the end you think it is about forgiveness. It is not, it is about understanding. Understanding and forgiveness, the snakes on the staff of mercy that is rooted in love; love for your self and love for the other.
Your lack of understanding for how the other challenges your destiny becomes a load, a debt and Al Arabi says that: those who recite ya Karim 270 times before falling asleep will be freed from whatever debts they might hold.
I say, be generous with yourself and others, leave measure and worth to destiny. We all have a path, unique and wonderful and meetings with others are crossroads of exaltation and annihilation, and in this way we move forward if we grasp the understanding….