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Closed Doors and Open Landscapes: Letter to a Reader

Dear Friend,
You wrote;

I am writing this letter because I am a follower of your blog, and I saw that some people have been writing to you, so I thought "why not" and decided to write myself. I prefer to remain anonymous, but my name is Jxx. I don’t have a list of questions, but questions will come spontaneously as I write the letter.
I have been a seeker my whole life, I've always had the intuition so to speak that there is a hidden reality, where things happen that the mainstream of society does not know (or remains silent) about. I have always sought to penetrate that world, to be a part of it, and yet I have always felt blocked, denied. I have no explanation for this, just a longing, and sometimes a rage, about it.
I have joined some of the more available, mail order, occult/esoteric societies, but they have not filled this void, and I have always had the sensation that there is "something missing" about their teachings. So I turned to self education, reading books and whatever came into my hands, some of these materials have confirmed that the "underground" that I once imagined does in fact exist, yet I continue to be unable to find it, it seems that it eludes me.
I meditate regularly and that grants me the peace of mind I need to continue my quest, yet I have met a stumbling block when trying spirit contact, such as evocation. I would like some guide in that respect, and in the more general problem that I outlined above. I have read your 3 books about Kimbanda and would also like to ask what someone who lives geographically distant from any legitimate Kimbanda groups should do to work with these spirits, I know you have outlined some steps in your books but I still thought I would ask.

From your letter I feel there are four matters you want to share some insight about, which are:

What is the hidden reality outside the mainstream society and how to connect with this reality?
When orders are not filling the void, what can we do?
Spirit contact is not working, why not?
What to do when geography impairs one from study.

I believe these are questions many are pondering on and I will strive to shed some light on this below as far as I am able.

What is the hidden reality outside the mainstream society and how to connect with this reality?

There are certainly many realities we can partake of – and also many we can experience to be denied access to.  The hidden reality most known is probably the invisible realm of sidhe and fairies, which are spirits we can enter into contact with. However, I feel this alternate reality is often something we need to actively search out, not with obsession and gluttony, but in gentle and curious ways. We are speaking of an attitude towards the world where we see it as mystery. You speak of a longing and the anger coming from the feeling of being denied – and this sounds like a negative circuit – especially if the longing takes the form of persistence and insistence. The world is a mirror and this is also true on a social level. The approach and attitude we use in our day by day life to master understanding and unveil abundance will reveal a stature that would also work well with the fair spirits. To bring the matter into a more modern language; everything is energy and all energy is finely tuned in the way they create bonds of attraction and repulsion. It is about being aware, about being conscientious about the ways we approach the world, and through this become aware of what we attract. I believe firmly that this material social reality of ours is a journey, a playground and that we can understand from our function and dysfunction in this world and start to gain an understanding how to move in other realities. So, the first trial is often concerning the material reality. It follows from this that by careful awareness of how we move in this mundane reality we can understand how to move towards other realities. Not only this, but we can also understand how we can wove our own Eden – not as an escape – but as a gathering of honey that will enrich our life and by this spread out and touch worlds visible and hidden... which leads me to the next point, which is:    

When orders are not filling the void, what should we do?

First of all we need to determine if the feeling of ‘void’ is not a consequence of stepping into the world with a cup to full. This issue being resolved in honesty we can appreciate an order for what it is – and some orders fill a void, while others do not – and yet in other instances we project a desire upon an order and want it to be something it is not – this will always reap disappointment. And yet again, an order can be a place of growth, of acceptance and of meeting our kin. I think when we enter an order we should do so because of sympathy and not being moved by the idea that the order is guarding secrets they refuse to give to people not attaining a certain degree. It is about brotherhood and sisterhood - it is about presenting a possibility for those partaking in the order to generate something ideal – a different reality. And this is a good thing, if those being drawn towards an order were satisfied with this and got rid of the curse of expectations. So, when an order is not fulfilling ones expectation, not filling ones void, one should walk on and one should walk within and towards the soul... Because the answers to all our questions we hold in our soul and they live on silently in the earth we walk – if we just dare to venture towards the blood red honesty of the heart veiled in contemplation and accept the verdict from the hardest judge there is – our very own Self. 

Spirit contact is not working, why not?

This can be explained by a host of reasons. But in general, spirits do not care that much about us humans and our fanciful inventions and ideas of progress because it ignites in us a sense of superiority. And such attitude will always inhibit spirit contact. I have found that three modes work extremely well with making spirit contact; one is to dedicate yourself in days, weeks or even months beforehand, as is done properly with ‘Goetia’ and with Djinn summoning. In this way, you build a bond through dedication. You demonstrate a true desire and determination by investing intent, love – and ‘money’ (because indeed the worlds are also a market) - for the spirits you seek to know. Another way is through initiation, where the spirit in question is by pact, blood and magic intervention integrated with you. We find this in many African and African rooted initiations where the initiation forges a bond with spirit that enables you to walk in growth.  The third way is the way of need. Need is a fire, a fire tempered by submission, that you realize that your strength is not enough. Need is a fire most delicate and need was the fire that moved for instance Odin to search out initiation and submit to the trials presented. But in general, spirit contact is a relationship like any other relationship – it is only the dimension that differs – and as such we need to value the relationship with spirit as we value relationships with other humans, beasts and plants. Through this we can come to now other realities, those of plants, beasts and spirits – and in this we can find a great bounty.    
What to do when geography impairs one from study.

I feel this proposition ties well in with the other topics. There is really no such thing as an impaired geography. Where there is a will there is a way and if we apply the rules of good character and conduct, awareness of our actions and determination, we will start to scratch the door of our home and haven. So I believe, we should always seek out our kindred and we should do so gently and not in rush. If we do this we will not see resistance but opportunity as we grow in knowledge and understanding of Self.  

I hope these musings served you well and I wish you much luck on the path of life and discovery!

And please, to the readers of this blog, feel free to continue to write me at: nicholaj@gmail.com

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