Dear Friend,
Parts of your letter
read as follows:
“I have a question regarding spirits, initiation, and systems of magic. I have always felt strong connections to these realms of the other, but I have had a hard time with these systems. Sometimes in my mind I have become connected or imbedded with these principles or forces, but when I attempt a system, it feels so unnatural to me that I feel inside of myself a kind of urge to leave it be and to just shatter it and to directly connect somehow through my own methods developed very intuitively and organically with hints here and there from readings and sources. I like to think I do not have trouble with the philosophies and the concepts, but when I attempt to use a system it feels completely wrong. ... I know many people would deem this to be dangerous... Also, I have another question regarding spells. For instance, if someone wishes to create a work and it involves killing. I do not wish to pay that price because I do not trust my own wisdom to be able to commit an act of taking a life in the right context for the right reasons. Besides, I have a great love for animals. Also, in these seemingly impossible spells, for instance some of those Greek Magical Papyri, could the ingredients steps of these acts be deemed somewhat metaphorical, as if dealing with poetry...”
I can relate to these issues as these were questions I
asked myself in my magical walk trying to find wisdom and answers. Like many westerners
I sought out orders and learned several systems of magic. At a certain point in
an orders tutoring of its system a restlessness entered and I asked myself, if
this was it? A couple of times I even blamed the order in question for not
being good, for being inadequate and wrong. But I was wrong. Any order provide
a systematic way for obtaining the realization of some mystery, and if this
mystery speak with your soul or not is really nobody’s fault. I think most of
see admission to orders because we believe a mirror of Self is found there –
the rest seeks power – but in general we also seek community, those of like
mind. So, any order has its strength and weaknesses, every order carry the seed
to its destruction – but it can also be a community that stimulates – as well
as restricts. The fact that many orders have a degree system invites a trial of
the ego, which I believe can be a good lesson for some. It is truly a beautiful
mechanism resting silently in the aspiration of degrees that at the same time
challenge your ego and fertilizes it. And with ego, I understand this to be
active Selfhood, the temporal and changeable construct we know as identity. And
it is here I find orders to have benefit, it helps challenge and in turn
structure ego, but it has its limitations. To use a Masonic phrase, ‘the lodge,
or order, squares the circle’. Meaning, an order is a temporal manifestation of
a part of the heavens and as such it is not in the nature of an order to be the
full starry heaven. If it manages to represent beautifully a constellation that
should be good enough. And here we are at the usefulness of a system outside
these parameters stated above; here we can encounter frustration and
limitations, exactly because ‘the circle has been squared’.
The solution to
this frustration might be found in emerging yourself in traditional doctrine. I mean, Plato,
Proclus, Porphyry and also the more recent Neo-platonic perennial philosophers
such as Julius Evola, Rene Guenon, Hossein Nasr, Coomaraswamy and many others, because they are occupied
with the timelessness of truth and man as a cosmic reference of the godhood. I
have found this to be an investment in our own self discovery and it also helps
us generate a solid philosophical foundation for our explorations of Self,
magic and the world. I am not so sure if I see any danger in ‘using your own
method’, but it is better if it is mediated on a secure foundation, like
traditional philosophies or true rapport with nature. Actually it is better if
the timeless philosophy and nature works in tandem and can inspire both heart
and mind and through this colour instincts with rainbow like ink.... In the end
I think we all need to be true and honest with ourselves – and this task is
hard on so many accounts – and be patient. If this is too difficult, cultivate
good character and your character will be your guide to Paradise...
Concerning animal sacrifice and the Western
sensibility for this, I personally have little problems with this issue, simply
because I believe ever animal (including humans) have a soul. This means that
we are all partaking in a great mystery together with minerals, plants, angels,
vapours and scents that are in a constant dance of interaction, transformation
and renewal. I think the Western demonization of animal sacrifice is provoked
by fear of death and forgetfulness of the fact that all meat eaten by Jews and
Muslims has been ritually slaughtered. Not to forget that the Vatican have its
annual sacrifice of a lamb to maintain the power of the Eucharist. At the root
we find however a lust for eternity and a fear of death, not realizing that
death is eternity and possibility. I recall Don Juan speaking with Castaneda
about these matters being very clear that our alienation from ancestry and
death contributes to the Western gluttonous attitude of wanting to LIVE
forever, in the flesh, like an un-dead... The sooner we accept death as a part
of the journey the more we will appreciate life; this little blessed sequence
of our life as flesh – because we are not really from here... My concern is
that the animal is sanctified and blessed so it can re-enter the circuit of
incarnations and reap more experiences and further blessings – because how can
the living judge if death is a curse or a blessing?
As for the impossible spells in the papyri and other
magical texts of Antiquity and the middle Ages, there are certainly ways of
making these items to take shape in secret and magical ways – but actually,
many of the ingredients in many of these spells were real and material –
although in some instances poetry reveals ‘a different way’. We must keep in
mind that prima material was different in those days and accessibility also
different than today. But insofar as we are speaking of testicles of peacock,
eye of toad and blood of bat, these were most certainly most real components
for rites and elixirs.
This being said, I see a difference between sacrifice
and murder, so unless the sanctity and meaning of life is understood life force
offerings should not be given. There is protocol for this, a protocol the
peasants understands instinctively, but which the urbanized westerner must
learn. The perspective of meat in plastic and meat as a fellow friend on the
farm invites a great difference and one of those is the difference between
murder and sacrifice....
I hope these words were helpful for you and thank you
for your thoughtful letter.
Many Blessings!
Nick
Responses might take some time, but with patience you shall
see manifestation!