“A person desires things of this world- but where is the difference of desiring the "Supreme Bliss"? Which is the more selfish? Which is nearer you? Which pleases the Creator more? Are you certain of the Creator's will and are you sure of your own desire? Are you the Creator or just yourself, as you fondly imagine your contents?”
AOS – The Book of Pleasure
Works of love, works of binding love, works to dominate a beloved, works to get back lost love are probably the life situation people ask for magical aid in more than any other.
But when we speak of love we need to be more precise, because love is bound in so many different forms of relationships and sentiments. We know the Greeks had at least six words for love and the form of love most praised seemed to be Philia, which is about the love that infuses and defines friendships. The philosophical work of Epicurus are all about this form of love that he praised higher than anything and we find a similar sentiment in Plato’s dialogues. Philia was related to Philautia, or self-love, however, narcissism was not a part of the understanding of what self-love was about, yet the ecstasy of being who you are in calm acceptance and satisfaction along with a willingness to transgress and transform the entire landscape that you are strikes the cords of self-love.
Hence in this landscape if you find yourself void of worth, a lone outcast wolf, a seductress of no victories… do you have sufficient self-love to call upon love?
In this field where the hunger for love is frustrated we nurture desire and we nurture ego and fantasy, it is as Austin O Spare wrote in The Book of Pleasure:
The Ego is desire, so everything is ultimately desired and undesirable, desire is ever a preliminary forecast of terrible dissatisfaction hidden by its ever-present vainglory.
And so, when we ask for love, to bind an object of desire to us, to call back a wayward wife or husband, what is the ‘’love’ in this desire we seek to bind?
We can exclude ideals such as pragma, the love that grows over time through deep understanding of one another as we can exclude ludens, the playful flirtatious love of passing moments (yet, at times such moments sow the seed of perpetual desire and haunting memories) as we can exclude agape, the unconditional and selfless love for everyone, due to the person exercising agape being truly full of love and void of self-doubt. Quite often agape is translated into ‘charity’, but I find the word generosity to be a word more proper to describe this form of love most difficult to attain. Generosity is about giving freely and willingly because it affirms Love, and if we are generous we also become kings and queens of love and in the spirit of love we can become architects and masters of our own Fate.
And so, when we think of love in a greater scope, the love between parents and children, between friends, the love in a flirting moment, the agape that happens with nature in meeting with rain and dew, that moment of true connection, passing or lasting, it be in sharing a common understanding, a shared preference… love is like the Devil, it all rest in the details.
And if we pay attention to the details many of us will find that there is much more love going around than what we care to notice because we tend to focus on that primal, passionate love, eros.
Eros, child of Venus, spirit of desire and also the daimon of divine desire was always viewed as irrational and volatile, a mercurial Venus that with his arrows and rosy cheeks could inspire passion and creativity wherever he went. The arrows of Eros piercing Romeo and Juliet led to death and tragedy as it did with St. Cyprian and Sta. Justinia and it is this love, eros, the erotic and sexual passion, that divine glue, that tend to be at work when someone ask for a work of love being done.
In this I would say with Epicur that “It is folly for a man to pray to the gods for that which he has the power to obtain by himself.”
Because if we don’t have Philautia, how can we expect to be the object for any kind of love?
I believe love, no matter the type, is bound by some form of generosity. To be generous is not only about giving because you have; it rests in some selfless nobility that rest in your heart. It is that love that speaks good words to the lover that left you, the love that holds on to what was good in what is not anymore with fond memories, avoiding the abyss of want, desire and depression.
Love is about giving and in giving we attract the same. Desire is about having and in exercising desire we also exercise this very same possessiveness desire is in our want for the other, often because of our own lack of self-love or misplaced love for self that makes us feel unwanted, unsuitable, unlovable and what not.
And so, with love, it is tied in with the mystery of the erotic, which is the enchantment and passion of merging, it is something of an expansive and creative dynamic that happens in the field of eros, but love have at least six heads… the seventh is your own…
And then; when you are there seeking to bind someone, is it an object of desire? Is it a persona filled with love? Why would you bind what is not naturally bound to you?
As a spirit worker, I am so reluctant to make love workings, because they are so often desire workings, and desire is irrational, volatile and floating. We are speaking of eros, not any other form of love. Eros is the cosmic glue, that is true, but the nature of this force makes everything like he is, unpredictable and volatile. Working with desire is a complicated thing and I must confess that magical works tied into the mystery of Eros are amongst the most unpredictable workings any spirit worker can do.
Sometimes it works well, because there is a bond between the one asking for the work and the object of desire, we are speaking of a certain generosity made possible by mutual self-love. Other times the implicated parties rekindle love for some passing moments, just to the dissatisfaction of one or both and there are of course effects like the wayward husband desiring his wife who closed all conversation with him – and after the work is done – he she opens her heart, her door just to be beaten once again by that abusive SOB… And there I am, as a facilitator, knowing very well that Maria Padilha was teaching a lesson… but still… is it love when you want to mark that soft skin purple and blue just because you are in a frenzy of erotic desire that calls the truth out of who you are and what this ‘love’ is about? No, it is desire in its pure and undirected way, it is the frenzy of Eros, unpredictable angel of love and desire that makes warriors sweet with the taste of fervent blood… the same blood that makes a dick hard and the heart to beat faster in the embrace of passion, it be of pain, anger or lust… It is not eros calling upon philia or neither agape nor even ludens, it is love turning into self-hatred exercised in the world, so we can all witness the pain of the desirous one. And there is in this the most common of cases, the lost love returns, but upon his or her return the desirous one don’t want him or her anymore… so in the end, as Epicurus wrote: “why spoil what we have with what we have not”?